missed it..
jason segal was at disneyland this past wknd.
why wasn’t i there?! :’(
so sad.
jason segal was at disneyland this past wknd.
why wasn’t i there?! :’(
so sad.
right now, i know my friends in italy are eagerly awaiting the arrival of the guys coming back from their deployment. i know they’ve been waiting just as long as i have to see their husbands and everyone filled with excitement, joy and sheer happiness to everyone come home.
and i’m here.. not there.. not standing around, waiting and dying for the time to roll by faster just so i can be there to see him again.. and it hurts so bad. i know he’ll come home and i’ll see him, but it’s so different. i’ve only been able to see him come back home from one deployment out of 2, and this makes the 3rd deployment and 2nd i’ve missed. the feeling of seeing those guys walk in together and know they’re all safe and they’re finally home is intense. to feel like the weight of the universe is finally relieved is extreme. and to feel like the biggest support of a lifetime, is something i wish i could feel right now.
i know i’m not any less strong or any less supportive by not being there, yet it does. i know that he feels my love surpass all the distance, the separation and anything else that interferes. i know, so deep within me, that being there would mean everything to him.. to finally come back to see the girls he had to leave behind.. to hold us in his arms.. because i want it too.
now i know why i’m awake. why my body just doesnt feel the same. i should be there. i want to be there. i needed to be there..
He’s passes the time, and the lonely. He’s like your new hobby. As long as he’s good to you, and as long as you know he’s still not good enough for you….I guess I’ll let Mr. Right Now steal you away for just one more night.
*sigh*
not mr right, but good enough for right now.
i don’t want to be,
because i am.
it isn’t great, but it’s perfectly ME.